Sunday, July 12, 2015

Nostalgia Review:: The Black Unicorn, by Terry Brooks

Title: The Black Unicorn
Author: Terry Brooks
Series: Magic Kingdom of Landover, #2
Format: Mass Market Paperback
Rating: ★★☆☆☆

Still Good?


In this book, everyone holds the idiot ball! And so a lot of bad things happen! Somehow, that's not entirely enjoyable! There are mild spoilers in this review! Look! Exclamation marks!

So, the first thing Ben Holiday is told about being King of Landover is that the magical king amulet thing can't be taken away from him. He has to give it away voluntarily. So when bigBadEvilWizard says that he gave it away in a dream that Holiday can't remember, he just believes him. So now bigBadEvilWizard is doing bigBadEvilWizard things and Holiday is just out of luck because no one recognizes him.

In fact, no one recognizes that the person they think is Holiday, who they think is a pretty rad king, is doing bigBadEvilWizard things, rather than rad King things. And Holiday can't figure out that when everyone tells him the magic that's making him not recognized as King of Landover is his own doing, all it means is that he's not confident in himself.

So, why is that really fucking annoying?

Because the entire last book's premise was that he couldn't truly be King of Landover until he believed in himself. Oh, hey, look! Recycling!

The only person who's not holding the idiot ball the entire fucking time is Abernathy, the court scribe and resident dog. Well, and maybe Willow, but we don't see her much until the end, where everyone figures everything out at once. (Okay, to give the plot some credit his biffles figure out the whole "not!King" thing a bit before everyone figures out the sort of central plot McGuffin.)

Abernathy, see, had the right mind to think that three people who feel compelled to do things they've dreamed might be being manipulated and shouldn't immediately run off to do shit they dreamed. Ha! So clever, that dog!Scribe.

Blah, blah, blah unicorns and magic. Seriously, though. Who makes a unicorn a fucking McGuffin? Unicorns totes deserve better.

Readers deserve better. Do yourself a favor: skip this one. I might have found it good when I was a teenager, but I know I can and will read better books. Well, unless I start a bad one. Also, there's a better book called Black Unicorn anyway.

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